This Is My Life.

homonomo:

my sister asked what type of soup I was eating but I didnt know what to say because I had just poured orange juice into a bowl and was drinking it with a spoon

(Source: plr2)

bootybar:

when ur family come over for dinner and ask what youve been up to
image

tastefullyoffensive:

"I nominate Mona Lisa and the Girl with the Pearl Earring." [via]

trcunning:

earthdad:

ok but give me one good reason why you wouldn’t date Kermit the frog besides that he is a puppet and a frog

I can’t beat Miss Piggy in a fight. She’s very strong and knows karate.

poopinginschool:

interviewer: any special talents?

me: image

0ffic3cha1r:

generalbooty:

yeah so i slept with this dude last night and idk we were chatting a bit  during the sexy time and for some reason his birthday came up and i was like “wait 25th of september? DUDE me TOO, wtf thats such a coincidence” and he was like “really? we have the same birthday? are u fuckin with me?” and i just looked down at his penis literally inside my vagina and was like “well technically yeah” and he was like haha nice one and high fived me

Get married